Stacy recently finished a book, and we picked up the movie to see how it compared. I was intrigued because it starred Woody Harrison, whose acting I’ve liked recently, and Brie Larson. And I’ll admit that the acting is good…but the movie is terrible!

The judgment the movie leads you to, is that parents who could not make decisions to care for their kids properly and who failed to ever trust society, or give back to others are still ok people because they showed love sometimes. Woody Harrison plays a dad who runs away from his obligations whenever life hands him a bill he can’t pay, and who spends so much of his time drunk that he nearly starves his four kids. His wife is equally as irresponsible, choosing a life of painting art to doing any work, parenting, or holding her husband responsible to care for the family.

The dad is a brilliant man with tons of knowledge and charm, but no discipline or responsibility. He can dress up any moment with some special words, a heartfelt plea, or a meaningful request…he’s a manipulator and a con artist to his own kids. He raves throughout the kids childhood about a glass castle they can build: a grand home that he has all drawn out on paper, because that’s all the home he’s ever able to afford for them. They live out most of their childhood in a shack without running water, electricity, or heat. They go days without eating. In the end, it’s all words and special moments. There’s no substance. It’s actually a failure of the system and of people not to have seen the plight of the children in the family and have had them removed and placed with a loving family throughout the film. It’s also the parents ridiculous, proud attitude that fails them, keeping them from ever receiving the benefits that were freely available to help through the blanket of social services our society has available.

As they grow up, the kids eventually reach the conclusion that they have to save the money to get away and build their own life. Their experiences have forced them to learn discipline and hard work, so they thrive when they are finally free of their parents…after they manage to get free. The worst moment of the movie for me comes when their father discovers a secret stash of their cash and empties it. It’s a wonder violence never won the day…I felt the need to lay hands on the dad throughout the film.

Most of the time I would argue that gratitude, forgiveness, and preserving relationships is a good thing, but in this example case, I believe that it was the wrong choice at every turn. It was the lack of hard consequences that kept the parents from ever making substantial, healthy changes to their lives.

I also believe that the movie could have praised the resilience of the kids and sent a great message. Instead it ended with the family together, telling stories of their dad and laughing together. It communicated that we should value him, but I can do no such thing. He couldn’t care for his kids at the most basic levels. He constantly build up their expectations and then dashed their hopes. He made them parent him. He put them in dangerous situations for his own benefit and justified it with, “I knew you could handle it yourself.” And he taught them that society was not to be trusted, when truly, he was the one who could not be trusted…he was simply keeping them from telling on him to the world.

I love my role as a father. I cherish the special moments I get to create…but I also work every day to provide for my kids, to guide their growth and health, and to own up to my shortfalls. I want my kids to trust to society, and to contribute to it: hopefully always adding to it and never having to lean on it too heavily. I don’t want them to keep secrets, but to be proud of who their family is. And I will allow them to take risks, but I won’t put them in danger for my own personal gain.

And I would hope that if mental illness, addiction, circumstances, or my own lack of work kept me from truly caring for my family, that my wife, my extended family, and society would distance me from them to keep them safe and allow them to grow as they should. I would hope that intervention would shock any parent into making appropriate changes so that they can fulfill their responsibility and enjoy the blessing of their family. Though I think everything should be done to restore and preserve the nuclear family, because it’s best for our children, I also believe that too many kids are left in situations they should be rescued from.

The Movie: The Glass Castle