The journey with Jesus is full of the unexpected.

For the disciples it meant gloomy confusing predictions of Jesus death, harsh rebukes, mountaintop visions, failures trying to heal people, and most interestingly, long fishing assignments to retrieve a coin for paying taxes. The key to these many events for me is the last passage in this section. The best mentality, the one it takes time to arrive at as a follower of Jesus, is one of great humility and trust. The attitude that has walked with Jesus and learned from him for so long that they trust quickly and without a lot of extra information.

We need faith like children–but that faith doesn’t come quickly. it requires a lot of time following and learning to trust God. Faith that has had a few weird assignments from God and has God lead them through them. If you’re not there yet, that’s fine. I’m not as close to that target as I would like to be, but its a goal that I aspire to.

Who am I? Why do you follow me?

Having done a descent bit of ministry, Jesus gets a bit more pointed in his questions and confrontations. He is happy to draw people close to tell them about God with healing, love, and food. However, He wants them to see Him for who He really is, and follow Him for who He is, not for what He provides.

I think we all start out following God for the benefit He provides: a sense of companionship, a personal miracle we needed, joy or help we found at church, a sense of forgiveness for our past, a way to get out of going to hell, etc. But we must someday get to know God for who He is, and follow Him for less selfish reasons: He is simply a loving, all powerful God…and that’s enough.

That’s not a question He asks early in our journey with Him, and its not one we need to ask of other people too early in their walk. But someday, we will process:

Who do the people say I am?

Who do you say that I am?

There are many days that I just need to be alone in my thoughts. No TV. No chores. No conversations with friends. Just me…and God.

It comforts me to know that Jesus felt this way too. That the Son of God needed time with His Dad. Alone time.

I especially like the Psalm’s promise that God watches over the foolish. Many times I need to be alone because I have failed. I have done something foolish–something I didn’t even think was foolish at the time. When you are blindsided by something you did that had unintended consequences, it hurts. For me, I process that hurt alone, at least part of the time.

You feel helpless…and God promises to rescue you. “Relax, because the Lord takes care of you.”

You don’t know how much I needed to hear that this morning…but God does, and this morning, He said it just for my benefit. That’s the amazing part of about time alone with God. That’s what Jesus was looking for too…comfort from the creator of the universe.

He loves us that much.

He loves YOUthat much.

Jesus hit a few dark days doing ministry. Some of his worst were probably when His hometown got so caught up in seeing Him as a regular guy that they would not listen to His message. The people Jesus knew best, loved most, and spent his life around wouldn’t respond to God’s truth.

Then Jesus gets word of His cousin’s grisly, pointless death at the hands of the paranoid King Herod.

Those are the kind of days that hurt, but also the days that cause us to ask an important question: Why am I doing this? Am I doing this for the reward of people changing? Am I doing this because I expect to be blessed with stuff?

While I hope you are blessed with seeing life change and having your needs met easily, our primary reason for doing ministry must be to honor and please and love God. We do it for Him, and audience of One. Otherwise, we won’t last long in ministry, because dark days come in all our lives, even the life of God’s Son.

I usually look at the parables Jesus tells in terms of ministry to other people, but the truth is, I should first apply it to myself. I am one of the seed holders from God’s planting effort. If I do not prove to make good soil for God’s seed, my spiritual life will get choked and not grow to any significant place. That is a personal tragedy for me: missing all the things a vibrant spiritual life can bring, and a personal tragedy in that the world will never get to see what God wanted to do in and through my life.

The parable that follows reminds us that among our group of “believers” are many who won’t amount to much, and who will encourage others to squander their spiritual life.

The third parable about the mustard seed today reminds me that God wants to grow from His seed in my and seeds in the world is nothing short of a HUGE thing that will bless everyone.

I need to make sure I let God’s spiritual life grow inside of me. It’s HUGELY important.