I’ve had a lot of good influencers in my life:

• Friends
• Parents
• An encouraging soccer coach
• Teachers

I would also say that most of the leaders who’ve done wrong in my life were distant figures who didn’t really hurt me personally with their actions. In fact, as I reflect, one of the most vivid betrayals I can think of is from the 5th grade, when Bill Clinton’s immoral actions led to his impeachment.

So you might say that my willingness to trust others is abnormally high, making me a bit naive. That’s especially true in our current culture, where the news and entertainment seems to want to dig into every leader’s life to find some huge betrayal, or at least a past that makes them less remarkable than the average Joe. The world I see is full of skeptics, and it’s not without good reason in many respects:

• We do tend to focus on the positive legacy of heros of the past, and often gloss over their unsavory traits. I recently became aware of some saddening aspects of Martin Luther King, Jr’s life that would not make it into his museum or most history books.
• We have experienced betrayal from quite a few high level leaders and their immoral actions: businesses like Enron, religious leaders like Catholic priests, movie executives. People manipulating people or numbers for their own personal gain.
• We now live in a culture where with our phones or computers, we can instantly be the smartest person in the room and can fact check everything. We don’t ever feel like we are consulting an expert, because the internet has made us one.

The problem with this mindset is: our belief’s about a person have a huge influence on how that person chooses to act! Time and time again, I’ve seen people work harder, perform at a high level, and make great moral choices because someone close to them believed them to be more than they believed themselves to be capable of. And I’ve also seen too many people give up or make a compromising choice in a way that seemed out of character, but that fit the condemnations and character protrayal they felt they were receiving from someone in their life.

If what I believe about others can make them better people, I’d like to think I will always seek to put that influence out there for their benefit. Betrayal is inevitable. People will prove us wrong and we will often wish we had known a person’s true nature before hurt became a factor in the equation. I’m also all about building trust over time, rather than handing out large amounts of it without knowing a person well. Believing the best about others doesn’t mean we hand them a blank check or give them all access into our lives.

I just wish more people understood the power their attitude and assumptions have over others. Like good coaches, I wish they would make their words count, building others up and pushing them through affirmation, to be the best version of themselves.