I neglected writing this post for a long time…I figured it would be controversial, and I am not one to favor arguing. Yet, while I prefer face-t0-face discussions, I felt that this topic deserved the expression of my voice…it was too important to express only silence. So here are a few of my thoughts on being a parent…

1. We are ALREADY a family, and ALREADY making an impression on another life.

This hit me when I first began to be able to feel our baby move in the womb. There’s a living, sensing, hearing person in there! Before these events, I always thought that my life would change when baby arrived…but it is changing now. I am motivated to change my behavior now…and I am honestly concerned that things that baby experiences and hears will shape them.

2. Babies deserve thoughtful, well-informed attention.

The more I read about babies, I believe this is one of the most under-appreciated aspects of our parenting paradigm in modern culture as well. Since we can’t remember our experience as a baby, or even at a young age, we assume those years aren’t that important. But more and more, I believe that the sense of security or lack of it that a baby perceives shapes them. I plan to parent intentionally at every age. I don’t want to follow the typical advice I receive of “you’ll figure it out.” I’d rather have a lot of information, so I can choose to follow the advice that I agree with, and that seems to work for my child. Why waste or ignore the advice of experts, people who’ve raised and researched hundreds of babies? Do I really want to rely on my own instincts alone? Sounds like setting myself up for an epic fail! I didn’t become who I am today by relying on my instincts alone. I won’t parent that way either!

3. The most important thing I can impart to my children is to make thoughtful decisions by my example and encouragement.

In reading about and observing parents in our community as well as around the world, I am becoming more convinced that I need to teach my children to make good decisions–to be thoughtful in choosing how they behave. There’s good reasons why parents in places like Japan can trust their children to walk to school, keep a schedule, and return safely on time. They have taught them to think and choose behavior. They aren’t simply telling them what to do–and modeling emotional demanding behavior that their children will later imitate. Don’t get me wrong–they are strategic when teaching and giving their children choice–the children don’t run the house or schedule, they simply make lots of decisions that fit within the parent’s schedule and plan.

Ah, so much to learn…so much to experience and experiment with.

Feel free to disagree…just do it face-to-face if you can. Let’s start a conversation!

Recent books that are influencing my thoughts:

Parenting without Borders

Love and Logic

The Baby Whisperer

Christmas is a worldwide holiday season and has been for 100’s of years, and it has picked up and given birth to too many traditions to count or explain! Many times Christians get worried that they are bringing too much commercialism or even pagan religion into their homes, since there are not clear lines between Christian traditions and other parts of the season.

While I may carry on this theme for a bit and explain a few of my favorite traditions, I wanted to start with a bit of general advice related to this issue. So here are my top 3 encouragements to anyone evaluating Christmas traditions:

(1) Personally adopt or invent traditions that you enjoy and give them meaning that reflects Jesus, not simply Santa or giving gifts.
The reason we don’t know the meaning of traditions is that people stopped explaining it. Take time to explain your traditions every year–make them meaningful! The point is not, “what traditions have non-Christian origins?”, rather, the question is, why do you do these things? Christians have stolen tons of things from nonChristians and used them for a worthy cause. Martin Luther used to steal bar songs and rewrite the lyrics into worship hymns. what matters is whether you make each action spiritual.

(2) Don’t be a hater.
Just because you don’t like a tradition or don’t think its a good one, doesn’t mean you need to make others feel bad for doing it. We are trying to express Jesus love. When Christians go around bashing other people for not being “Christian enough” in their celebration of Christmas, all people hear is, “You suck. God is a hater who judges you for petty things like Christmas lights”

(3) The celebration of Christmas is about God giving us a gift we did not deserve.
If you want to celebrate Christmas to it’s greatest emphasis, make sure you take time to serve people who need help–even if they don’t deserve or ask for the help. Make traditions out of hosting people for dinner who aren’t the kind of people you’d normally go out with, paying for someone’s lunch behind you in line, or serving a soldier who’s returning to Fort Campbell this Christmas without holiday plans. Basically, celebrate Christmas by going to an extreme to serve others with your time and money. That’s the best Christmas tradition.

Remember, there’s nothing in the Bible that tells us to celebrate Christmas. The church created this tradition and season because we wanted to focus on Jesus arrival and the kindness of God.

Also remember that the world celebrates Christmas entirely differently than we do. Ask someone from another country how they celebrate Christmas. It may just open your eyes and heart to something new!

10The angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I am bringing you good news that will be a great joy to all the people. 11Today your Savior was born in the town of David. He is Christ, the Lord. – Luke’s Gospel, chapter 2

So often we think of a person of influence in terms of politicians, celebrities, CEO’s and bosses…but so often a servant is given one of the most influential roles in the world. I read this entry from the Daily bread last month and LOVED IT. The Daily Bread www.odb.org is a phenomenal daily devotional that is available free in print or on just about every smart phone there is. It’s worth checking out and adding to your daily time with God if you need something new and fresh. Check out this entry on influence below:

Tuesday,
July 30, 2013

A Person Of Influence

She said to her mistress, “If only my master were with the prophet who is in Samaria! For he would heal him of his leprosy.” —2 Kings 5:3

If you Google “person of influence,” the search will take you to various lists of “the most influential people in the world.” These lists usually include political leaders; business entrepreneurs and athletes; along with people in science, the arts, and entertainment. You will not find the names of cooks and cleaners who work for them. Yet those in so-called lowly positions often influence the people they serve.

The story of Naaman, a high-ranking military commander, includes two kings and a prophet of God (2 Kings 5:1-15). Yet it was the servants in the background whose words led to Naaman being cured of leprosy, a career-ending, life-changing disease. A young servant girl taken captive from Israel told Naaman’s wife that a prophet in Samaria could heal him (vv.2-3). When Elisha’s instructions to bathe in the Jordan River angered Naaman, his servants urged him to follow the prophet’s orders. The result was Naaman’s restoration to health and his declaration, “Now I know that there is no God in all the earth, except in Israel” (v.15).

What a beautiful picture of our role as followers of Jesus Christ! We are called to be people of influence—the Lord’s servants who point others to the One whose touch can change their lives.  David C. McCasland

Lord, I would like to live a life of influence like
Naaman’s servant girl—to be brave and bold
to touch the lives of others by pointing them
to You. Fill me, Holy Spirit, with Your power.

Christ sends us out to bring others in.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright  1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Copyright 2013 RBC Ministries–Grand Rapids, MI 49555

I have seen my fair share of people hurt by churches in the past few years and I definitely empathize with their pain and anger toward untrustworthy individuals.

However I find a lot of these people discontent over imperfect churches, hoping to find the perfect one out there somewhere, and I think that is a myth that needs to be broken. I hope you realize that this issue is not connected with the American church model…it’s been the issue since the first days of the church. Paul–the first and greatest church planter laments to Timothy that everyone has abandoned and betrayed him in 2 Timothy. The church has been highly imperfect from those first days, and it remains that way today. Even the great Reformer Martin Luther died a bitter drunkard isolated from the church he had help restart.

Do your best to come to me soon. For Demas, in love with this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia, Titus to Dalmatia. Luke alone is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is very useful to me for ministry. Tychicus I have sent to Ephesus. When you come, bring the cloak that I left with Carpus at Troas, also the books, and above all the parchments. Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm; the Lord will repay him according to his deeds. Beware of him yourself, for he strongly opposed our message. At my first defense no one came to stand by me, but all deserted me. May it not be charged against them! But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion’s mouth.  (2Tim 4:9-17, ESV)

Wikipedia summarized Martin Luther’s final days like this:

His poor physical health made him short-tempered and even harsher in his writings and comments. His wife Katharina was overheard saying, “Dear husband, you are too rude,” and he responded, “They are teaching me to be rude.” In 1545 and 1546 Luther preached three times in the Market Church in Halle, staying with his friend Justus Jonas during Christmas.

His last sermon was delivered at Eisleben, his place of birth, on 15 February 1546, three days before his death. It was “entirely devoted to the obdurate Jews, whom it was a matter of great urgency to expel from all German territory,” according to Léon Poliakov. James Mackinnon writes that it concluded with a “fiery summons to drive the Jews bag and baggage from their midst, unless they desisted from their calumny and their usury and became Christians.” Luther said, “we want to practice Christian love toward them and pray that they convert,” but also that they are “our public enemies … and if they could kill us all, they would gladly do so. And so often they do.”

All in all, Don’t go looking for a church that will never hurt you. It doesn’t exist. Go looking for a church that will admit its faults and ask your forgiveness when confronted. Don’t withdrawal from relationships because they hurt–confront those relationships like we are instructed to in Matthew 18 and watch as God makes you both better friends and better church members. It is only through working through hurt that we find and deepen trust. We see that in movies and on TV shows all the time…but somehow we miss it in real life. That’s the lesson God has taught me in recent years. And I hope you will try and find that it is true for you too.

So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.  (Matt 5:23-24, ESV)

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church.   (Matt 18:15-17, ESV)

I am reminded finally of Mark–a companion on Paul and Barnabas first missionary journey, who abandoned them part of the way through their trip. When they prepared to make a second journey, Paul and Barnabas disagreed so much over whether to take Mark along again that they ended up traveling separately. Paul was not ready to forgive. However even though they separated, Paul came to forgive and deeply appreciate Mark.In what was probably his final letter, he wrote: “Bring Mark with you when you come, for he will be helpful to me in my ministry.” We must learn to be hurt, and yet still be the ones to seek reconciliation.

Praying for those hurt by the church today. I really hope they find healing and the key to relationships through confrontation and forgiveness.

 “I believe that success is within the reach of just about everyone. But I also believe that personal success without leadership ability brings only limited effectiveness. Without leadership ability, a person’s impact is only a fraction of what it could be with good leadership. Whatever you will accomplish is restricted by your ability to lead others.”

I first read the Law of the Lid over 10 years ago, and at that time I took it with only a slight bit of seriousness. However, after a decade of looking at the world through the lens of leadership, John Maxwell style, I am totally bought into this concept.

If you want dramatically different results, one key area you cannot afford to ignore is your leadership abilities. Read John’s article here, and see for yourself why leadership matters so much.

And if you are intrigued enough to make a big move to grow yourself in this area, then you need to come to the Leadership Summit with me on August 8-9th. We are only weeks away!