There was a time in my life where the truth of Scripture seemed so simple, so clear, and so compelling, that all I wished to do was share it with others…and I did. I took each opportunity that came my way, and taught. Lesson after lesson. Notes, Power Point slides, catchy lesson titles…I did it all.
Now, a half dozen years down the road, the truth that once was so crystal clear is a kaleidoscope of one liners, verses, and life experiences that I cannot readily systematize. I have trouble consolidating my thoughts to a 20 minute presentation…and I struggle diligently to separate wisdom I have learned from the world and in the church, from straightforward Biblical truth.
This new tension is deeply frustrating. Although I hope that it leads to a deeper level of understanding and maturity as a teacher, it currently stunts my desire to teach. I feel incompetent…”permanently disorganized”.
Perhaps it is a result of being exposed to so many men who have spent their lives studying the Word, and who teach based on their lifetime’s work attaining clarity.
“Please, Lord, send me a little insight down here…”
August 27th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
Hey Patrick,
I know the feeling. Isn’t that the truth? You go to seminary to learn something and all that it does is screw you up. From what I hear, the good news is that they try to help put you back together again by the time you finish. 🙂 Keep your chin up!
August 29th, 2009 at 10:07 am
Walked that path before. Welcome to seminary where you’re forced to deeply examine your convictions, beliefs, assumptions, misconceptions, etc. Keep plowing. It’s rough for a time and taking some time off from teaching to delve deep and hash out the truth is not a bad thing. There are fundamentals that shouldn’t and won’t change. But going through the crucible of deep examination is a rewarding experience provide you keep at it. Just keep in mind it can take a few years. 🙂
August 30th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
It’s great advice and great encouragement to be in fellowship with friends with a similar understanding. I don’t know what I will do once we all split up and get out on the field.