I’m behind on many movies since Eli came along, and just recently got to experience the second installment of the new Spiderman movie…which was a total disappointment to me. I am still in love with the geeky, awkward, cartoonish Spiderman that the original trilogy portrayed, and here’s a little of why I don’t like the new one.

Shallow Characters:
Harry Osbourne, Max, Gwen Stacy – wow. Can we get more oneliners, more cheesy moments, and more unrealistic acting than this? Why does Harry Osbourne die in a matter of days when his dad lived so long? Why does he need and inject the spider venom the moment he finds it? Can’t he be more prepared and threatening than a wimpy kid?

Max – This guy is the ultimate creeper. He has no social skills or personality. He’s not even a cool bad guy. he looks stupid after his transformation, and his ability to shoot electricity is wasted. so many better things they could have done with the action scenes on that.  Find some better candidates.

Gwen Stacy – the tipping point in her relationship is the words “I Love You”? We’ve already established that. No one debates it. Geez people, let’s spend a moment on the fact that she can’t listen to her father’s warning. That she’s an emotional, lovesick, silly girl who dies because Peter Parker is not willing to let her go. Not to mention that this simply adds noise to the other storylines in this movie. Also, why is it that she is the one who has all the answers in this movie so conveniently? She knows who Max is. How to reset the power grid. How to keep Peter’s web shooters from overloading. Really?

Peter Parker – Why does Spiderman fight crime except because it’s fun? Shouldn’t he have a better reason than simply to be a hero because he likes to beat up bad guys and be in the spotlight. What a crappy hero. The spiderman I like had deeper convictions than that.

Over the top, Unrealistic Action:
Why is a tow truck running over cars, stealing plutonium at the beginning of this movie?
Why does Spiderman leave the car chase where countless people are dying to save Max?
Why the elaborate plane scene where Peter’s parents are killed?
Why does Peter’s dad have an underground, elaborate, secret lab that Oscorp or the city of New York doesn’t know about?
How can Gwen Stacy simply switch the power back on when Electro and Spiderman have just destroyed half of the grid?

Stupid Pivotal Moments and Key Themes:
Why does Peter suddenly feel better about his parents based on a short little video about his dad’s experiments?
Why does Peter get over Gwen by listening to her speech? It’s nice and relevant, yes.
Gwen dies from an impact to her head? Realistic yes, but there are a thousand other ways that would have been more romantic to die.

Bring back the old Spiderman, who fought and struggled with the responsibility that his gifts burdened him with.
Bring back the geek who fought to express himself to a woman he saw value in when no one else did.
Bring back the villan who was power hungry and cunning and deadly.
Bring back the Harry Osbourne who was sly enough to destroy Peter’s romance and kill his heart before trying to take his life.
And bring back the action that was slightly unrealistic, but still had a great deal of drama and emotion to them I mean when the goblin almost killed Peter in Spiderman 1…spitting blood and sheer luck. Now that was amazing! That was a high schooler fighting for his life!

If that’s not enough, watch this movie rack up cinema sins:

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H53183mVc2o[/youtube]